I’m not pointing fingers at anyone because I believe we all do it. It’s easier to do it than not. That thing is judging! Whether it be behind someone’s back or to their face. Its human nature to judge, and like many others I judge people, behind their backs but rarely to their face. I’m not proud for doing so thus I’ve decided to lessen how much I judge. I’d like to discuss how it feels to be judged and if you’re being judged regularly, how to deal with this.
What is judgement? Judgment can be a direct insult to somebody, an assumption of what they are, making a rude comment behind there back or/and making a negative conclusion on something or someone. Your words have great power and thats why its important to have an awareness around what you say to others and how it affects people. Do you even have the right to judge?
When you judge someone you’re invading their space by forming negative comments about them which is very unfair because you don’t know how that person is truly feeling at that moment and your words could be what triggers something inside of them.
I like to think that people’s minds are like a house, with a garden and a fence around it, sometimes people can come along and open up the front gate and enter your house, your head. Try picturing this in your head now, and find a time where your house(mind) has been filled with negativity. Often when you are feeling down it’s because of those negative comments in your head. Let’s imagine in this instance that you’ve been called ‘Fat’ ‘Idiot’ ‘No one likes you’ by someone. You have control of your house and what’s is in there don’t you? We all want to fill our houses with nice things to make it cosy and happy right? Well you have a choice of what you fill your mind with just like how you have a choice for what’s in your house. Keeping our mind healthy and filled with positivity is one of the main keys to living a happy life. The scary part about judging is that it can be very hard for some people, if not most to not let their mind be taken over by all these bad words, and if we don’t have the correct tools to help treat our minds with we can become depressed, self conscious, stressed, nervous etc.
So let’s say you’ve been called “fat” or “no one likes you”. Maybe you don’t think a lot about this but to some people words can be very powerful and even hurtful, as we are all different in how we perceive things. This means that not everyone has the same look upon something as you may. This particular example is a one off, so you have only been named or judged on one particular occasion. If these words or any other words someone said to you today have brought you down or started filling your head space(house) just remember this. The more attention you give those words the worse it’s going to make them. Your stress feeds off of your thoughts and the more food you give your stress the bigger it grows.
Now perhaps you get judged often, I have to presume you are struggling in difficult times and my words of advice to you is that you are never alone, there’s always someone that will care, be that a friend, family or councillor. Now another situation may be that you’re in an argument. You are about to fire back at them in the heat of the discussion without thinking too much about what you are saying. Often when arguments happen like so they lead nowhere and can hurt people. People often say your best weapon in an argument is your words but I believe it’s your silence. Just remain silent and let their words be, let them say whatever they want to say and remain silent. Once there rant is done just step away from it no matter how tempting it may be to respond. They feel like they’ve been heard and later on will think about their actions and more than likely regret what they said. Chances are they’ll apologize in the near future. How do I know? From my own experience. This leads onto my next point, the best thing you can do after you’ve made a judgment is to revise what you’ve said that day. Find a time where you’re alone and and it’s quiet and recap on the day and all the things you’ve said. Maybe you realize you’ve said something you regret because it could be hurtful or other reasons. Well you always can say sorry. And more importantly you have recognized your mistake and hopefully learn from that.
Judging, such an easy thing to do. Remember you can’t assume what’s best for someone or judge a person by their cover. The thing with judging is it makes us have a negative outlook on the world and what’s in it, which can affect our own happiness. This is why it’s important to have an awareness about what you say to others. We would be a lot happier without judgment in this world wouldn’t we? So the next time you judge someone, acknowledge what you’ve done and instead of thinking negatively about them turn that thought around and think of a couple positive/good qualities about that person.