She coiled a lock of dark hair around her bony finger, pulling, and releasing. Tension in her finger erupted as she curled another strand around. This motion had become a habit of hers whenever things became too quiet. It was never quiet for long, however just for a split second this motion eased her mind with each release that came from the tension. A bad habit she admitted, but one that helped.
The room felt empty, still, almost peaceful; but this only left space for other things to creep in. A chilling breeze stroked the back of her neck sending a jolt of shivers over her pale skin. Taking her stare away from the glass table she looked over to the open window that had carried through a draft from the dark abyss outside.
Down below the city had fallen asleep, taking with it the noise from the hustle and bustle of life. It was dead silent.
This silence was now suspended in the room waiting to be broken as she played with another strand of hair, waiting for the hit.
“Yuna? Can you feel it yet?”
In an instance the silence had been shattered. Yuna sighed.
“No. Nothing yet.”
“Feel nothing? Perhaps it was a dud. Want another?”
Yuna shook her head remaining hunched on the couch staring into the glass table with widened eyes.
“Ok then. Well I’m popping out for some fresh air. Coming?”
“No thanks Asako,” Yuna mumbled back paying very little attention to her sister, keeping her trance on the table in front of her.
“You sure you’ll be ok?” her sister asked in a caring manner.
“I’ll be fine,” Yuna mumbled hesitantly, wishing Asako would stop treating her like a child.
She shrugged. “Very well. I believe you.” Asako made her way to the other end of the house, sliding the door shut behind her.
Yuna was determined to show Asako that she was better than some sort of wounded animal that needed looking after. It had been like this for too long and Yuna had grown restless from feeling of being unable to choose how she lived. Even simple things were hard for Yuna to enjoy without the constant shadow of Asako looming over her. Yuna remained on the couch by herself savouring the loneliness Asako had bestowed upon her, these moments were rare.
Her shoulders were tense, creating discomfort in her neck as it became strained from the stiff posture. She’d tried loosening them up by sitting deeper into the couch, but she found this too have no affect. Wriggling restlessly on the couch, she waited in silence for the antipsychotics effects to kick in. However all this waiting had done was awaken the creatures that slept in the depths of Yuna’s dark and fractured brain.
Lurking in her head the voices had awoken with intent to corrupt Yuna and her weak mind. They would not cease until Yuna was utterly helplessness, hushing and echoing their fiendish insults, making her believe in every single word that they punctured her with.
Mistake. YouMistake. ThisWasAMistake. Regret. RegretYourMistake.
A sharp pain emitted from the side of Yuna’s scalp as she jerked her hand away from her head.
“FUCK!” Yuna cried.
Placing her fearful eyes upon her quivering hand Yuna found a clump of dark hair in her palm. Her hair. Yuna’s eyes followed the hair down to the roots to find it had become stained with a dirty looking red. Torn out in a split second.
With a groan Yuna dropped the hair to the floor and doubled over to clench her stomach. Hot, boiling, sickening! Cupping her mouth Yuna held back the instinct to regurgitate the contents of her stomach, swallowing back the vile flavour. The taste of acid in Yuna’s throat made her taste buds limp away from the foul smack of citric.
Disgusting. YouFool. HowDareYou. YouCan’tEscapeUs.
“SHUT UP!” She screamed.
There’sNoEscape. NoAlternative. YourStuckWithUs.
“SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP!” Yuna wept, straining her lungs from the sudden outburst. Tears began emerging in the corners of her eyes as the voices bombardment raged on with no sign of mercy. “Please stop. I BEG YOU!” Yuna put her hands into her face as she bawled up on the couch with tears streaming down her face. The tears had begun to rush down her cold pale skin and onto the white shirt she wore, which had become saturated in a pool of agony. This misery she felt day in day out was a never ending cycle of pain that left Yuna feeling desperate for an escape. Many years of taking antipsychotics had brought Yuna nothing but a feeling of emptiness. She wanted to be normal, she wanted to function and most definitely wanted the voices to cease forever. Everyone around her had been supportive, caring and reassuring when she was first diagnosed with her disorder but as the years rolled on and her disorder became more and more severe her support began to dwindle to a fragile number. When these times of hardship fell upon Yuna all but Asako had remained by her side, but the thought of Asako now just made Yuna erupt into a fit of tears. She was a mess.
The door slid shut behind her slim frame as she stepped outside into the dark night. A sea of endless lights filled Asako’s vision as she gazed upon the city. Asako often came out here at night to find time for herself where she could finally be alone and in her own mind. It was always a hardship to be around Yuna. Many of Yuna’s friend and family had become distant with her over the years, being unable to understand or find a sense of compassion for Yuna. Asako had brought it upon herself to remain by Yuna’s side even if the consequences were too affect her own mental health. She knew she wasn’t Yuna’s doctor or her legal guardian but regardless she felt she was the one to blame if something were to ever happen to Yuna. They were close in age with just a mere 5 years separating them; this age difference had brought them together as the closet of siblings.They had grown up together, fought together, laughed together and loved together. Over the years Asako had placed the duty of being the older protective sibling upon herself and made it her duty to protect Yuna from anything that were to ever harm her. It was times when Asako was alone that she could be reminded of why she was fighting by Yuna’s side;to regain what she had lost. Bringing out her earphones Asako slipped the two marble sized pods into her ears and found her favourite album, Dusk To Dawn. Pushing play, she let the slow melody of swaying cellos, soft drumbeats and harmonious voices blank her mind of thought and set her free from her duty. Sitting down in the singular armchair she closed her eyes and became immersed in the sound, fading into a peaceful sleep where thought began to cease. Asako’s mind was brought back to life when the smell of something metallic crawled up her nostrils. She breathed the air in again to find the smell of a sweet, yet dry pungence fill her nose. A feeling of discomfort crawled up Asako, sending a trail of goosebumps sprawling over her skin. She felt like a dog that could anticipate something bad before it actually happened. She couldn’t place her mind on anything definite until she stupidly found the answer. Yuna. Asako screamed Yuna’s name at the top of her lungs. With haste she pulled out her earbuds, leapt out of the chair and sprinted to the front door. Tugging at the handle with all her might she found it would not open, it had been locked from the inside. “YUNA OPEN THIS DOOR!” She screamed, with terror shaking her speech. Slamming her other hand against the glass door she continued to pull at the door, praying desperately for it to become loose. Tears began emerging in her eyes as she refused to let go of the handle, this couldn’t be happening. It felt as if time began to slow down. There was no telling what Yuna had done; but that is when she saw it. A trail of dark red blood slithering down the side of the couch, a pale hand, limp.